Veale’s theory chimes with the experience of a retired sales manager I meet in a drab Sheffield consultancy room. A lifelong bachelor, Eric Bell, 68, is charming and well-dressed, if, with a beard tinted blue, a touch eccentric. He is also preparing for his third penis enlargement – an operation that, judging from the sizeable member already between his legs, is unnecessary. “I’d just like it a bit fatter here,” he explains, circling thumb and middle finger around the top of his shaft. “I’m single, but it makes me happy knowing I have something eye-opening down there.” We spend five minutes discussing the merits of this before he asks his own question: “Can I put it away now?”

Berkeley Nutraceuticals entered bankruptcy as a result of the investigation, but it was rescued by its local landlord, Pristine Bay, which said it didn't want to lose an anchor tenant. Berkeley's name was changed to Vianda. The company now sells a "new" Enzyte blend that includes horny goat weed, ginseng, and ginkgo biloba — though it says it has ditched the shady sales practices. As for Smilin' Bob, he's still smiling his way through TV commercials; devotees can even order "Livin' Large" T-shirts adorned with the character's face.


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